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Gunnar, in case you were wondering, is wearing a tuxedo, guyliner and all of the hair goop in Davidson County. | The following day’s shoot goes even worse, starting when Scarlett flits around a ballroom dancing scene. ,” and I desperately hope it’s because he’s going to lob a man-bun off one of the extras, but nope.

Now 52, Crow is often described as the world’s biggest female rock star: she has won nine Grammy Awards during the past two decades, sold more than 50 million albums and performed with some of the biggest names in the industry, including The Rolling Stones, Michael Jackson and Bob Dylan.

But her life has been turbulent: she has survived breast cancer, a brain tumour and even Lance Armstrong, to whom she was once engaged.

While I’m sure that “man-bun specialist” and “smeared lipstick remover” are perfectly respectful jobs, some of these peoples’ rates are a bit higher than what we’re comfortable with. I know you waxed poetic for 15 minutes at craft services about how she elevated Scarlett’s performance to a “crazy new level” by aiming a fan at her face for hours at a time. Speaking of Scarlett, she’s still rather unsettled by your pretty ridiculous — I mean, artistically constructive — comments about her clothes, looks, relationship and sexuality. And Gunnar’s not happy that you got him drunk and unearthed his relationship secrets, but I’ve been at a bar with that guy: Buy him a Bud Light and he’ll start spilling details after the second sip.

She’s also not jazzed about crawling down a dinner table in a ,000 dress that barely covered her… Anyway, we’d appreciate it if your people could review the charges and see whether there is any way to reduce them; those handcuffs that held Gunnar to the bed, for instance, can probably be returned for a full refund to the Luv Boutique or wherever you got them.